Now What? Stepping forward into Self-Love

      You got the guy, but now what?   Or maybe, unfortunately, you didn’t get the guy, or even lost the guy, so now what?  You’ve tried all the diet tools out there and have been unsuccessful losing weight, so now what?  Better yet, you’ve reached your weight loss goals, but now what?  You see your appearance changing with age, so now what?  You bought the purse, dress, house, car, jewelry (insert any item) that you just knew would make everything okay, but your life stayed the same, so now what?
      We humans crave love, intimacy, and community, and we try to buy the items or remake ourselves in the way we think will secure them.  If we don’t get them, we’re left wanting and dissatisfied, but similarly, if we achieve or possess them, eventually, the excitement passes, the rosy glow of attainment fades, and we want something, or someone, new or different again. 
      I developed my Self Appeal® concepts because it was when I built the relationship with myself that my wanting stopped.  Then, naturally, without the effort and energy I’d expended throughout most of my life to that point, and as the Law of Attraction dictates, I was able to attract what I’d wanted all the while.  But before that time, I’d been trying to fill the hole inside myself with everything outside:  men, work, exercise, food, sex, substances, shopping—all to no avail.  There was no place left to go but inward.  That’s when I learned I have the solutions and remedies to all my dilemmas and dissatisfactions inside myself, if only I listen. 
     And so do you!
     Like me, initially, you may not be able to even recognize that you lack Self Appeal.  What you will know though, is that something hurts.  
  • Your heart may hurt—you may be lonely or frustrated in love and relationships.
  • Your body may hurt—you may be overweight, undernourished, or even overly athletic and
   experience physical pain.
  • Your brain may hurt—you may be anxious or compulsive in your actions.
  • Your soul may hurt—you may feel lost, depressed, or hopeless.
     Becoming aware is the first step. You have to be aware of something before you can act to make a change. 
     Consciousness is awareness.
     Each month I will introduce one problem or harmful thought that occurs in women’s lives, then using a condensed version of the Self Appeal process, use the remaining three weeks to dissect and discover how to change it.  The first week of each series will be devoted to the awareness of the problem. 
     It seems right to begin this Self Appeal blog in the fall, a season where nights get longer, the air gets cooler, and in many climates we humans prepare for spending more time inside.  This Self Appeal process is also a going within.  Subscribe to this blog and begin your Self Appeal journey and with time and patience you’ll: 
  • Radiate self-confidence even in the midst of being unsure.
  • Glow with self-respect so others will show you the same consideration.
  • Be grounded in the self-knowledge that you’re the best you can be at any particular moment.
     This is how you become your own best friend and really love yourself.  This is how you easily attract into your life your deepest desires.  This is how you become empowered and begin to live a fabulous life.
©2012, Susan Bremer O'Neill, All Rights Reserved.This Self Appeal® article is one part of a 4-week series.  It may be reproduced in it's entirety ONLY if accompanied by this copyright and the following information:

Susan Bremer O'Neill offers coaching, classes, and speaking presentations to help women build self esteem and confidence.  Please contact her or go to for more information.  
Stay tuned for Susan's upcoming memoir, From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal, due out in 2013.